Hangin Tough!

A few girls from the neighborhood and I have signed up for the Rugged Maniac in Jacksonville, Fl next month! The course looks amazing! The three mile course takes you through the woods and a motocross track (think steep inclines!). Plus, the track is full of challenging obstacles like barbed wire, fire, (FIRE!) tunnels, mud pits, pools of water, barricades, cargo nets, scrambles, swinging pendulums, and a host of other obstacles that make this course one rugged gauntlet of glory. So fun!

Our team name is The Mother Ruckin Houligans and there are four of us! So proud of these girls for agreeing to do this with me! It is going to be one heck of a girls weekend in Jacksonville!

The Highs and Lows of the 1/2 Marathon!

Your son giving you a big hug before you leave and telling you, "I hope you win Mom!"

Having your MP3 player sit in a cup of water 6 days before your 1/2 is devastating! Having to ask the guy behind you on the bus how to work the volume on the Ipod Nano you borrowed from your mom is embarrassing!

Finding your friends who came from NC to run the race in a crowd of 12,000 is pure pleasure and a miracle!

Having your parents drop everything to join you for a weekend in Orlando at the last minute to wrangle your children because your husband had to bail is a true blessing (and loads of fun).

Placing your hydration gum in your sports bra instead of purchasing a running belt is a huge mistake. By the time you need it at mile 9 the wrapper will have dissolved due to sweat and your boobs will be a gooey mess.

Apparently it is possible for a female to pee standing up. I had the distinct horror of watching a girl run to the side of the road, pull her shorts to the side and pee. I am not sure this is proper etiquette since there were port-a-johns everywhere and not to mention BUSHES!

Running smack into the back of a burly sweaty man who decided he needed to come to a complete stop in front of me when grabbing a cup of water at mile 4.

Feeling like you are going to soil your shorts between miles 8 and 11 is the WORST. There is no real options when this happens except to pray and breath through it!

Running through Animal Kingdom, Universal Studios and Epcot at night is absolutely incredible! You will not set any PRs taking the time to walk a bit in order to take in the beauty of Universal Studios main street but you will never regret doing so!

The sheer joy and excitement you feel when seeing the last mile marker...there is not much that can top it. Its almost the same feeling you get when watching your soldier walk up the green ramp back from deployment...almost!

People who walk the last mile to the finish line HAVE NO HEART! And if for some reason you do need to walk...GET OUT OF THE WAY OF THOSE STILL RUNNING!!!

Having your dad wait 2 1/2 hours in the car in the dead of night is a true act of love!

Puking your way to the car and skipping out of the free wine and cheese is pretty lame.

Waking up feeling accomplished and sore is the best! Driving the six hour drive home tired and sore with a pissy two year old is not!


1/2 Marathon Chip Time 2:27:13
Overall Place 2854 / 7275
Gender Place 1416 / 4598
Division Place 311 / 945
Age Grade 44.7%

You Take the Good, You Take the Bad...

The Facts of Life!

Seriously, I am starting to think someone is playing a cruel, sick joke on us! I am doing my best to maintain a level amount of joy, patience and faithfulness but there has been several things this weekend that I was NOT prepared for!

For instance, the complete, picture perfect aviation family that showed up at the zoo just as we did! A vivid reminder of what we still don't have!!! However, I do believe I handled it professionally and with grace and only winced once when I heard the little boy say, "Daddy, daddy, look a camel!"

The amount of sadness that Isaac is carrying around due to the fact that this makes no sense to him when he has pulled all but three rings off the deployment chain and we still have no idea when his Blue Daddy is due home! I have to constantly reassure him that if Daddy was able to be here he would be, and that Blue Daddy is sitting there thinking about him, just as much as he is thinking about Blue Daddy!

The emotional roller coaster I feel each morning as I grab my phone hoping and praying for good news, only to be greeted each morning with no news or worse news then before.

I am working over time to maintain a happy heart and a joyful spirit if not for my kids but to simply convince myself that this will all be over soon. I am finding it best to pull my strength from those ladies that lost their husbands and will never have a homecoming. I find it much easier to wait another day when I think of those brave and amazing women that have no choice but to carry on and I find it makes me appreciate what I have all the more.

I truly believe the Lord works on us through our trials and tribulations and I think I have finally come to terms with the fact that I am all part of a greater plan and that I have absolutely no control in the situation. This is huge for me, as I sort of like being in charge! There is a peace of understanding that has washed over me with this realization and I praise the Lord for his steady hand on my shoulder and his constant reminders that he is leading me whether I come peacefully or kicking or screaming.

Please pray for the people of Russia, please pray for those men and women that are stranded in refugee camps all over the Middle East waiting on rides home to their loved ones, pray for the family members that are trying their best to be patient but may be struggling with stresses that come with not knowing, and because they always weigh heavily on my heart, please pray for those families of the soldiers we lost...I can only imagine this is a very difficult time for them as well.

On the Horizon

I turn 29 in 10 days, YIKES! This puts me at a year out from turning THIRTY! As a kid, I seriously thought 30 was ancient and still can't picture myself uttering the words, "I'm thirty." I am working on embracing it but can honestly say, I am not quite there yet! In my attempts to embrace it, I am working on a list of MUST DO's before I turn 30!

1. Take trapeze lessons. Seriously, I have wanted to do this forever!
2. Compete in a Triathlon
3. Learn to scuba dive
4. Vacation in Tahiti (Summer 2011...we are so there!)
5. Buy 3 rental properties
6. Run the Army 10 Miler
7. Read the entire Bible...cover to cover!
8. Sleep under the stars
9. Go on a mission trip
10. Go a month without take out or fast food
11. Take cooking classes
12. Have Luke teach me how to tinker on cars...I have always wanted to rebuild a classic with him!
13. Get a concealed weapons permit!
14. Get fit enough to wear a bikini...this is a must for Tahiti!
15. Learn to ride/drive a motorcycle

Granted, these might not all happen before I am 30 but I am going to try real hard to accomplish the majority of them before then!

Wail and Wahoo Wednesday!

Wahoo: Today was a snow day and the kids and I had a GREAT day together!

Wail: Today was a snow day and that means they will start adding days to the end of the year...NOT COOL!

Wahoo: We only have 6ish more weeks to this deployment...Can I get a WOOT WOOT!

Wail: I this stupid deployment over NOW...but in true military wife fashion, I WILL DO THIS!

Wahoo: I have been getting my run on in the gym...I think I need to register for another 1/2 marathon...a girl's gotta have a goal right?

Wail: My run time currently blows! However, I am busting my butt working my time back down, slowly but surely I will get there again!

Wahoo: Did I mention we are ALMOST done with this deployment!!!

Wail: What is there to wail about...we are ALMOST DONE!

Damn YOU Paul Newman!

Holy Hannah, Paul Newman's Mango Salsa is my new nightly craving!

(I stole this photo off the Internet, those are NOT my pink doilies...I don't even own a doily!) I should have cropped out the pineapple salsa, because it doesn't even compare to the mango!

Seriously, this mango salsa might be the very thing that is standing between me and those skinny jeans but I don't EVEN care...it's that good! Last week, I decided my salsa cravings where getting way out of control and I strictly forbid myself to purchase another jar. I cut myself off cold turkey from the sauce as they say, but unfortunately it didn't last long. My dear friend gifted me a jar of this crack in a jar and a bag of tortilla chips as a thank you for watching her children while she was sick. Oh man, its so good! Seriously, I can eat the whole jar... by myself...in one sitting...I don't even need a chip, I can eat it with a spoon! Its THAT good!

We were RUNNING!

Saturday morning, myself and five other ladies ran the Jingle Bell Jog 10K in downtown Fayetteville. The course was fantastic, nice and flat overall and the weather cooperated just long enough for us to complete the run! I am so thankful and blessed to have finally found a lovely group of ladies that like to run and are pretty darn good at it too! You have no idea how long I have prayed for a running partner, or five! We all did a really good job and all finished under an hour, for you none running folks that is just about ten minutes a mile for six miles!! I can hardly wait till our next one!

Walking the walk!

Six months into a deployment and my nerves are shot! I lack patience, organization and crave time to myself. I find myself questioning my credentials for being a parent and wanting to knock out non-military wives that complain about the simplest of tasks! Yes, six months in and all I can think about is how the heck am I going to make it through these next six months when somedays I'm not sure I can go another six minutes before I blow a gasket! It is so easy to get down and out and overcome with anger, self-pity and bitterness. It is also very easy to take it all out on the little people. To many times I have taken my frustrations and anger out on my children. Too many times, I haven't taken the time to see how this must affect them and how they just need a little bit more of me. More of the mom I always claim I could be if my second half were here. Too many times, I have gone to bed and thought, "Wow Jacqui, way to handle that one!"
Yesterday while cleaning the house, I came across a piece of paper with this verse on it,
And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’
Matthew 25:40
and it made me realize just how important and key my role as a mother is. It made me think about how trusting my children are of me and how much they depend on me to do the right thing. How the way I love on them, interact with them and comfort them shapes and molds them into loving and respectful adults. I choose to become a mother, God blessed me with two amazing children and my job is important! This verse reminded me that even if it takes a little more patience, a little less sleep, a little more laughter or a little less free time, it matters. It matters to the Lord and it matters to my kids!

All Abroad the Crazy Train!

In all honesty, this deployment does not seem as stressful or as overwhelming as the last. Which at first I choose to believe was because I was just seasoned and getting really good at this single mother thing. However, recently I discovered its the lack of structure and organization that gives it the illusion of being less stressful. What I have come to realize these past few weeks is that we are officially on the crazy train to nowhere and I am the conductor! In my attempt to make things go smoothly, and more importantly, quickly, I think I have lost sight of what was really important! As the mother of these kids, I owe it to them to make their life stable, healthy, and productive and hopefully have a lot of fun while doing just that. Lately though, I have been very lax in some areas, mainly the healthy (stupid drive thrus) and my emotions have been nothing near stable as of late (stupid, stupid deployments!) and my organization has all but left the building! Any who, a problem named is a problems solved so in an attempt to get this crazy train back on the right track, I am here by grounding myself (and the kids). For the month of November we are only going to eat out of the house in emergency type situations, and no, "I don't feel like cooking" ain't an emergency! Also, no more unnecessary purchases, I will get back to writing grocery lists, clipping coupons and meal planning. We will find fun, simple, family focused, cheap ways to spend our time and we will smile and be merry! Well, we will try our best anyways...

Happy Father's Day Bladdy!

B est dad in the whole wide world
L over of Mommy, Isaac and Delainey...as well as grass and the weather
U ndeniably handsome and unbelievably awesome
E very bit a genius

D arn good at fix in stuff, especially since we are so good at breakin stuff!
A lways willing to sing us a song, or two or three...
D ownright an amazing softball player
D oesn't scream like a girl when he sees a bug, like mommy does!
Y ou are simply the best!



Words cannot describe how much we love and adore you Blue Daddy! In honor of Father's Day we did some stuff that we thought would make Blue Daddy smile...such as,
Washing the car, inside and out!


Delainey was in charge of holding the hose,

and bossing everyone around,

Isaac scrubbed his little heart out, he said, "you have to get the windows and lights real good mom, because that is where the bugs like to hang out!"


After the car was washed and dried, I mowed the grass and weed whacked around the fence and bushes. Now this in itself is not very impressive but the fact that I finely got the darn whacker started and no one was maimed or injured AND I fixed the lawn mower tire all by myself using "how to instructions" off the Internet should be grounds for some sort of a medal! {Side note: While mowing the yard a few days ago, I managed to pull the tire off the rim and it went completely flat, Seeing as how it was a tubeless tire, I was completely perplexed on how to fix it. After researching tubeless tires on the Internet, I was able to tie the tire back down on the rim with a bungee cord and then I greased the edges of the tire to seal it with Vaseline. This worked great because when an air pocket would bust through the Vaseline, I could just apply more ointment in the hole and it created an awesome little seal that allowed the tire to inflate and me to finish mowing the grass!}

After all that was complete, and the kids were feed and bathed and I cleaned up the entire house...I finally did it. I canceled our cable! I know this is a rather lame Father's Day gift to many, but I know that it will make Luke's heart and soul smile and really, isn't that what Father's Day is all about!

Love you Lukey, the kids and I miss you dearly and hope you enjoy your special day!

And...I can't forget the very first man in my life...my awesome, and witty and 100% Republican dad! I love you dad and am so glad that you are such a huge part of my life and such a great Cheez to my kids! We love you and wish you the very best this Father's Day!!!

The Big Suck is Looming Large

Today it hit me, like a mack truck, that the inevitable is looming large just around the river bend. I am trying to stay positive, look for the silver lining on the stormy cloud, but it all keeps coming back to the simple fact that he will be leaving for a really, really, REALLY long time. The feeling in the pit of my stomach is not a good one. Its like trying to get excited about having a root canal or a vaginal examine. It's just not possible. Whenever I think about the upcoming events, my mind immediately takes me back to that night, standing in the hangar, clinging to my little boy with tears streaming down my face, desperately fighting the urge to cut and run. Watching my husband board that bus, thinking that that could be the last time I see him was the worst feeling I have ever felt...and that feeling lasted 13 painstakingly long months! To think, to know, that I am about to experience all those many sucky feelings yet AGAIN is already taking its toll on me. I have no doubt we can make it through this, but I feel its totally unfair that it feels like we just did this and are having to do it again.

Geez Oh Pete!

I shall apologize in advance about my lack of posting...things have been getting a little crazy around here and the extended forecast is calling for oh so much more! The F-ing deployment, which is how I am now referring to it, has been moved up by six months. I am really not dealing with this news very well and I am not the least bit excited that I am having to do this again, but whatever. It is going to happen whether I like it or not and after reading a rather poignant quote today,
"When we can do nothing, Jesus can do all things; let us enlist His powerful aid upon our side, and all will be well,"
I am feeling a wee bit better. It is funny to me that I always hear people say, "it takes a strong woman to be a military wife," "it takes a brave woman to let her man go off to war." I get so sick of hearing it, especially since as of late, I have found myself thinking it takes an idiot to be a military wife! We do this to ourselves on purpose! And for what? The big bucks? The glory of being alone day in and day out with our precious kids while their father misses out on everything that truly matters? I truly am not in a good place with accepting the fact that this deployment is rearing its ugly head and once again I will have to rely on emails and IMs to chat with the one person that matters the most to me and the kids. I am sad. I am angry. But I am strong, and have amazing friends that are going through the same issues as me, family that keeps me laughing and the goal of holding my head high while my man walks off that tarmac and back into our arms! I also have the knowledge of a past deployment that will help aid me in better decision making, only stressing on what truly matters and not letting others project their issues on me when I will clearly already have my own! As well as two precious babies that will keep me busy, stressed and laughing through it all. Plus, the good Lord to oversee it all and keep me brave, strong and focused! I can do this, I just really don't want too.